Kelsi Monroe comes across a troll accusing her of having a fake ass. With nothing better to do, Kelsi understandably decides that driving to the troll’s house and sitting on his face is the best mode of action.
We open up the scene with Kelsi Monroe getting ready for … something. I honestly don’t know. I would assume she is getting ready for a shoot. Maybe a hot date.
Or she’s reminding herself that she’s hot, so never mind. Which is very normal. I do it sometimes. Had a rough day? I look in the mirror and remind myself I still have an athletic physique.
After a gratuitous shot of Kelsi’s ass (we apparently forgot why we’re all here), she jumps in the bed and decides to see what Brazzers’ fans think of her newest video. Which I was not aware pornstars do. I like to assume people with a shred of fame don’t have time to read our thoughts.
Kelsi reads a comment from a troll accusing her of having a fake ass, which is a DEFCON 1 insult in 2018. She’s upset, but I’m like, “Word?”. Is she heated over a troll saying she has a fake ass? I feel like only Mia Malkova is allowed to be distraught over that.
Kelsi knocks over all the shit on the makeup table, because that’s a normal reaction. She then begins twerking because, again, she needs to remind herself she’s hot. Wooosaaahhh. I know she’s twerking for us, the viewer, but I like to imagine she’s a crazy person twerking for an audience only she can see.
So Kelsi, a genius, decides to ask for the troll’s address, claiming he won a dinner date. Because dudes are dudes, he did it. Rather quickly. Not sure how she plans on proving her ass is real, but let’s play this out.
It’s at this point I realize Kelsi is weak. She knows the person is a troll, but still feels the need to go out of the way to prove something. I’d like to think Kelsi has nothing better to do on a Sunday than bother randos, but in reality, she has brittle spirit.
Also, what are the odds that the address of the troll is like a few blocks down the road? If this dude was a state over, she would just rub one out, enjoy a hot cup of tea and get over herself.
Kelsi drives to the troll’s mansion. Because of course, he has a nice house. He’s surprised by her appearance, which makes me wonder if he left his address halfway expecting to be catfished? Which is dumb. Are rich people seriously this bored?
Kelsi, who has an ass reputation to defend, makes a point by … sitting on the troll’s face? I mean, from his vantage point, he’s not exactly getting a good look at that ass. He is getting a good whiff though.
Sean (the troll) validates the realness of Kelsi’s ass by motorboating it. It’s a tested and proven method, don’t question it. Seeing an opportunity, Sean makes it known that he has a “big, hard cock” in his pants.
I still remember on I Love New York 2 when the competing guys had to say something about themselves to impress New York, and all Wolf had in his rhetorical bank was saying he had a big dick. He made it to the top seven.
Anyway, Kelsi places a lot of trust in this statement. Sean places a lot of faith in porn logic that says every woman is dick-hungry. They both win.
Sean proceeds to lick Kelsi’s ass. Knowing it’s real makes a huge difference. Maybe that’s what ass aficionados do, I dunno. They also have anal sex. He presumed that’s not just a thing she does for the cameras.
Look, if Kelsi Monroe randomly showed up at my apartment on a mission to flaunt her ass, I too would be excited. But not so much that the first thing I think to do is taste a stranger’s hole and then raw-dog it. I’m smarter than that.
The scene “Trolling for Trolls” can be found on Brazzers.