In this scene from Brazzers, erotic writer Moriah Mills isn’t getting any dick from her husband and is struggling creatively as a result. Enter door-to-door political canvasser Keiran Lee to inspire Moriah as her muse. This eventually results in Moriah fucking Keiran. We should all be politicians.

I would say there is no way this dude is sleeping through Moriah Mills masturbating, but shit happens when you’re tired. That said, he should relieve Moriah’s fingers of their duties when he wakes up.

Bruh, you wildly outkicked your coverage with her. When Moriah is the one asking YOU for morning sex, you just do it and figure out your day later. Sidenote, dude is wearing jeans underneath those covers. That’s a red flag.

Titties. And that’s … actually pretty good writing. Which isn’t to say Moriah can’t be a writer. But I am saying that none of the women at the writer’s Meetup look like her.

I thought she was doing fine, but okay. Masturbation makes me tired and less likely to come up with strong writing. But in fairness, I’m more likely to write a thesis than an erotic novel.

Again, I thought she was doing fine. Moriah makes a good point. If her own imagination isn’t enough to crack her marbles, I doubt it would work for readers. How will this writer’s block be cured?

There’s our answer. For a second I thought Keiran was a Mormon missionary. I get a lot of them in my neighborhood. I never answer the door. I don’t trust white dudes with ties like that.

Bitch, you know you lying. No one describes politics as “interesting.” You can maybe say important, but definitely not “interesting.” I’ve watched C-SPAN. To help me sleep.

And into Moriah’s pussy? I respect the reaction, though. It’s better than trying to pretend you’ve been obeying the “chin up” rule and only looking at Moriah’s eyes.

And now we’re ready to roll. Remember gentlemen, this is why you need to fuck your wives. Not only does she run the house, but if you don’t, Keiran Lee will.

Wait, what?! I’ve seen the covers for erotic novels. The dude never looks like Keiran. Ever. I’m thinking Keiran is less a muse and more a well-dressed white guy that showed up immediately after Moriah failed at masturbating.

Dude, do you even know how to politician? He must be a newbie.

How does she know this? It definitely can’t be the way he carried himself. Dr. Emily Morse says there is no amount of physical signs to tell you how big a man’s penis is. And she’s a sexologist. So I’m calling bullshit.

Hahahaha! Yes Keiran, that’s what this moment of realization is all about. Saving jobs. That’s some fine rhetoric he’s got there.

Welp, guess Moriah was right. She gets all the points.

The splattering of liquid silk suggests Moriah will now be able to write a best-seller. But here’s the real question: does Keiran have her vote? I feel like a vote against him would be an indictment on his dick game. This blog is over.

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Want to see the full scene without me interrupting? Of course, you do. Go grab a Brazzers membership and download “Moriah Fucks Her Muse.”