Jessa Rhodes in “My Sexy Stepmom” – OBSERVATIONS

Today we look at Jessa Rhodes and Lucas Frost in “My Sexy Stepmom.” It tells the story of a stepson who has learned nothing from #MeToo, masturbating to his stepmom while peeping through an open door. Naturally, this behavior is rewarded. Because porn.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

I’m going to guess we are treating this as a first-person view as opposed to a scene where the guy is carrying a camera. I always find the latter annoying as there is rarely a reality porn scenario where walking around with a camera is sensible. Not even the landlord scene with Angela White.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

I didn’t know what Jessa Rhodes looks like, till now.

I realize I have never known what Jessa Rhodes looks like. It’s easier to lump her in the same barrel with other white, athletic blonde pornstars. Not my type, but she cute.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

No shit, she was crying before you entered the room. Lucas says this as though Jessa cries on a routine basis.

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Welp, guess there’s nothing to see here. The scene is over. Lucas can exit the room and go back to that cup of hot water I’ve already forgotten about. Was he supposed to hand that to Jessa? Is it in his hand right now?

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

Marriage drama. This is exactly what we want in our porn.

Skip. I understand people sometimes come to the realization that opening up is the best choice, but it grinds my gears when people say they are okay, only to spend the next 20 minutes treating you like their therapist.

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Can Lucas not be a dude for just one moment? Jessa is allowing herself to be a bit vulnerable with her fucking stepson of all people, and he can’t help but eye her down.

Also, let’s talk about Jessa’s issue for a second. If I understand this correctly, Jessa married a man who already has children and now feels some kind of way about that man giving his daughter more attention and time to bond?

I’m not saying Jessa is crazy because neglect is a normal feeling. But she is being ridiculous (which she admitted). Maybe her husband could do a better job of balancing his social energy, I dunno. But if she is the type of person to need attention (which is fine), consider not becoming a stepmom.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

I think Jessa Rhodes’ nose is sensitive to bullshit.

I’m trying to figure out that look. Is Jessa giving Lucas’ remark consideration, or is she thinking you gotta be fucking kidding me? Props to Lucas for being such a dude and ignoring what Jessa just said, trying to find a solution that somehow involves him.

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Because it isn’t. I mean, hanging out with your step-children isn’t inappropriate. But even Jessa can tell that her socially awkward stepson’s suggestion to go to the movies or have dinner doesn’t quite jibe. I don’t think anyone needs to be doing anything with this guy.

And please note that the screencap isn’t how Jessa looked the entire time she spoke. But man, haha, that brief nano-second perfectly captures what we are all thinking. That’s some good facial expression acting.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

I think we just discovered a Daughter Swap crossover opportunity.

First, I would give 1000 points if the dad was spending time with Kimmy and it somehow led to a Daughter Swap crossover. Second, assuming this daddy-daughter time is harmless, what Lucas is proposing is different. Quite different.

It’s all about intent. If you watch the clip, Lucas’ tone and constant eyeing don’t project a young man just wanting to help out his stepmom. That’s a young man wanting to fuck his stepmom. Nice Guys™ do this all the time: suggest social closeness to hide the desire for vaginal closeness.

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Has Jessa not heard of Meetup? Does she not have her own set of girlfriends to spend time with? Hit the park for a run, read a book at Starbucks, do anything but this! The scene was going so well until now.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

Lucas went from 0 to 100% creeper in no time.

*Sigh* Fucking creep. In case you are wondering, he peeps at Jessa for 15 seconds, but it felt like 15 minutes.

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FUCKING CREEP!! Why did guys do this?! And don’t tell me, that’s not really a thing men do. We literally just found out half of Hollywood, and the CEOs in this country were jerking off in plants. The Lucas’ of the world are definitely doing this.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

This could easily be a screencap from a slasher flick.

It took Jessa approximately 90 seconds to realize what was going on. Dumb bitch.

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The correct answer is “jerking off.” The only thing that amazes me more than knowing dudes really do this shit is that is somehow going to transition to the two having sex. Unless she’s been promised a lead role, Jessa would never let sexual harassment slide.

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Again, not to beat a dead horse, but the correct answer is “jerking off.” Why is Lucas acting like a teenager who just got caught watching porn? Man up and just admit what you did. No need to deny it when the evidence in is your pants.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

Sexual misconduct is particularly bad amongst a step-family.

Yes! I love it when step-family porn pulls this line. It’s like jerking off in front of Jessa would be 7% more acceptable if she were someone other than Lucas’ stepmom. Ma’am, this kind of behavior is inappropriate in a strip club, let alone your household.

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Seriously dude, keep your eyes up. A ballsy decision by Lucas to a) admit he finds Jessa attractive in a moment that is far more creepy than casual, and b) eye her body down one more time. That’s a bold move, Cotton. Let’s see how it plays out.

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*Raises hand* If I may offer some advice, Jessa? First, slapping is allowed. He sounds like a bit of a bitch and may call his dad, but it would be well deserved. Second, he needs to leave the room. Third, and I’m not one for snitching, but you can’t live under the same roof as this motherfucker. His dad has to know, and one of you have to go.

Just whatever you decided to do, DON’T FUCK HIM!!

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

Holy Christ on a saltine cracker, Jessa is actually going to fuck him. I don’t even care what else she was going to say, and neither should you. Stuff like this is why dudes think sending dick pics is a smart idea.

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Get the fuck outta here! I didn’t know we would get lessons from the Nice Guy™ 101 (NG101) course. If porn is correct, which it never is, playing to a girl’s emotion with fake sympathy is a sure-fire way to land face-first in pussy. Also, even if Lucas really did empathize with Jessa, what does that have to do with him pulling his dick out?

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How does Lucas Weinstein-ing the situation lead to him fucking Jessa?! I’m so perplexed by this that I’m actually intrigued to see what happens. An interesting tidbit, Wikipedia lists 90 women who said they were sexually harassed or assaulted by Harvey Weinstein. Is that dude getting passed around in prison yet?

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You and me both. Oh, and what Jessa says is “just this one time.” I was so stunned that I had to pause the video. I also feel bad because my first thought was, not to make it about race, but I think I would never get away with that.

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You need to go and watch the PornHub clip around the 5:50 mark (link below). Words can’t do justice to the hard edit transition between Jessa’s “cannot believe I’m going to say this” bit and suddenly jerking Lucas off. It’s excellent comedic timing, and I’m not even sure it’s intentional.

Jessa Rhodes in "My Sexy Stepmom"

Why is Lucas’ semen so transparent and watery?

And the watery cumshot means we are done here. As always, we don’t cover the actual sex unless something hilarious or noteworthy happens. All we missed is Jessa asking if Lucas is going to be a “good boy” while blowing him (gross).


Support your porn people. They worked hard to give you this foolishness. Get a membership at Moms Teach Sex to view the full-length scene. Follow the links below to check out a 5-minute trailer as well as an abridged video on PornHub.

•  Moms Teach Sex
•  5-minute trailer
•  PornHub’s abridged video

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