MILF and mom porn, explained.

What does “MILF” stand for?

It stands for “Mom I’d Like to Fuck.” According to Urban Dictionary, the acronym can also mean “Mature I’d Like to Fuck.” Which a) I didn’t know, and b) is a bit confusing.

Why is that confusing?

Being a mom and being mature is not the same thing and aren’t even necessarily tied together. It’s entirely possible to be one of those things but not the other. Just consider how mature is defined:

  1. Fully developed physically; full-grown.
  2. Having reached an advanced stage of mental or emotional development characteristic of an adult.
  3. Used euphemistically to describe someone as being middle-aged or old.

We would expect those things from a mom, but a mom doesn’t have to actually be those things to have a child. Babies are having babies every day on the Maury Povich show. Plus, a woman can fit the definition of mature without ever having kids.

So it is weird for the “MILF” acronym to be given two different meanings with different interpretations.

So what does that have to do with MILF porn?

Like the acronym, porn doesn’t have a clear definition of what a “MILF” is. While the category is meant to tell the stories of mothers and their sexual trials, the actresses involved more so portray the way we define a mature woman. So in reality, yes, we would like to fuck that mom, but less because she’s a mother and more because of her sexual maturity.

That … is very confusing.

I can’t tell you how I long I spent writing that previous paragraph.

What if a pornstar is a mother and young?

Then she’s not a MILF. Porn treats “MILF” like a loose mature-mother hybrid. We don’t know the exact middle ground between the two, but we know it when we see it.

A young mom who doesn’t look middle-aged isn’t a MILF, even if she is technically a parent. But a woman who looks middle-aged can still be a MILF despite not being a mother. “MILF” speaks more to a vibe or feel we get from a pornstar than a reality. It’s dumb, but it works.

Ariella Ferrera in Mommy's Best Kept Secret

Ariella Ferrera in “Mommy’s Best Kept Secret”

You keep saying “middle-aged”? What age range is that?

In our universe? About 45 – 60 years of age. In the general porn universe? About 30 – 45.

I wouldn’t consider 30 to be “middle-aged.”

I doubt most people would. We would call anyone between 30-45 years of age a regular-ass adult. Teens are 13-19, while young adults are 20-30.

But porn’s sense of age and time is warped because it has to be. Porn can’t legally have someone appear on video without the person being at least 18 years of age. Five years of being a teenager are erased (thank goodness), and a pornstar staying relevant past 45 isn’t likely.

Off the top of my head, the only pornstars still holding it down at or past 45 years of age are Lisa Ann, Brandi Love, Alexis Fawx, Ryan Conner, Kianna Dior, and Veronica Avluv. Even if you add five more names to make up for my knowledge, that’s still 11 which is minute in the lake of water that is porn.

So it’s kinda like how the NFL considers 30 years of age to be old.

Exactly. The business of such a violent sport necessitates it. Pornstars are like NFL players.

Except for quarterbacks.

Lisa Ann is Tom Brady.

How else do we know a MILF “when we see it”?

Aside from being white, big enhanced tits are the top indicator that a pornstar may be a MILF. MILFs usually have a mix of an athletic and average body. Ass size is all over the place, but generally won’t be small. A MILF’s hair color is always blonde or black, which is the one pattern I don’t entirely understand.

Is that what we think a MILF looks like?

Whether it’s because porn teaches that or porn is a reflection of what we see in society, the answer is “yes”. When we imagine a MILF, we envision a trophy wife with access to money and nothing but time to go to the gym. Also, those of us who are in our 30’s grew up in a time when our perception of beauty was marked by big tits.

Seriously, stop and reflect on the 1990s for a second. Cindy Margolis was apparently the most downloaded woman on the internet, all of the top pornstars had big tits, and the then-WWF built an entire women’s division on “puppies.”

That was a weird time in wrestling.

Miss Kitty became a Women’s Champion by winning an Evening Gown Pool Match and then flashed the crowd in celebration. Never forget.

Kendra Lust in Inappropriate Behavior

Kendra Lust in “Inappropriate Behavior”

How popular is MILF porn?

In 2017, the MILF category was the second-most viewed on Pornhub while “MILF” was the third-most searched term. Interestingly enough, this was right above “stepmom” and three spots above “mom”. “MILF” was also one of three searches to be popular across four different age groups ranging from 18 to 65.

Wow. That’s … wait, what were the other two?

“Lesbian” and “Japanese.”

Huh.

Yea, I didn’t know we suddenly had a thing for Japanese women.

Anyways, why do we like MILF porn so much?

MILF porn combines two fantasies: effortless sex and a confident, slightly aggressive woman.

We are generally impressed by any woman that is 40+ and still looks fantastic. But then when we combine high sexual energy and confidence, that woman is like a magnet. MILFs know what they want, know what they are doing, and won’t play games about it.

There may also be something to MILFs being presented as sexually dormant.

Explain, please.

Reality porn feeds off the idea that women are always looking for dick. Not that they are desperate, but there is an opportunity for some dude to swoop in. MILFs are shown to be lacking accessible dick in their lives in spite of their good looks.

So it creates the thought that any guy could be the guy to get some pussy. For example, if you just happen to be India Summer’s neighbor on the right day, then you’re the one who gets to fuck her.

Which isn’t based in reality. The human act of choosing a partner is too complicated for that. But we love the idea that with a few well-placed words and good timing, we can be the dick a MILF picks at a period of not getting enough.

That’s twisted.

The subtext of reality porn usually is.

So is the neighbor fucking the MILF a standard plot device?

Definitely. I counted seven familiar tropes within MILF porn:

  1. Having sex with a daughter’s boyfriend. The MILF’s daughter has an attractive boyfriend, the boyfriend clearly has interest in the mom, and the MILF ends up fucking him.
  2. Having sex with a son’s friend. This is another variation of the previous trope.
  3. Teaching someone how to have sex. The MILF is helping someone with their sexual confidence.
  4. Curing someone’s horniness. This is the previous trope’s cousin. The person may not have a confidence issue, but they might not have gotten laid in a while. So the MILF will help them out. Lucky bastard.
  5. Having sex with a friend’s family member. MILFs have friends, and sometimes that friend may have a son, daughter, niece, or nephew.
  6. Bossing someone around. The MILF holds some form of power over the person they’re having sex with. This is most common in workplace scenes where the MILF is the boss or stories where the MILF is taking out sexual frustration on a much younger person.
  7. Having sex with anyone due to a lack of immediate options. This is how the MILF fucks the neighbor. It’s also how Bill Clinton ended up choosing Monica Lewinsky.

I don’t want politics with my porn.

Sorry.

Lisa Ann in Club Cougar Steals the Cock

Lisa Ann in “Club Cougar Steals the Cock”

Why would any of these tropes interest us?

Of the tropes listed above, all of them in some way include the man being the prey. Meaning the man didn’t have to do anything other than be a man. Which is like a dream scenario for dudes.

Each plot doesn’t have to involve the man making a move. The MILF is interested, she initiates, and she gets what she wants. Thus, the man gets what he wants without having to put in much effort. Brandi Love randomly approaching me for sex would make me melt.

What do you think of MILF porn?

MILF porn most closely fits what attracts me. I’m not into younger girls.  I like a variety of sizes, colors, and looks. I also love girls who are aggressive and transparent with their intent.

So a hardbody like Kendra Lust is just as hot as someone voluptuous and curvy like Sara Jay. A woman who is straight to the point (for good or bad) and isn’t shy about making her thoughts known is sexy to me. MILF porn provides all of that.

Who is your favorite MILF pornstar?

I’ll just say Lisa Ann and not overthink my answer. Beautiful woman, beautiful body, fantastic ass. I haven’t seen anything she’s done since returning because, well, I don’t care enough. But I would be hard pressed to think of a time when I wasn’t happy with a Lisa Ann scene. She also makes anal sex look good.

So, this Lisa Ann person is a big deal.

She’s the Tom Brady of porn, still throwing passes past 40 years old. G.O.A.T.

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