Today we explain Britney Amber in “Blue Balls Bonanza” from Family Strokes. It tells the story of a stepson in a lousy relationship, and a stepmom who thinks girls should be giving up the pussy more often to keep their men happy. America.

We open with Juan El Caballo Loco and his girlfriend having an argument. Turns out, he’s spending more time talking to other girls than her. So yea, he done fucked up.

She opts to be a bitch about this by calling him a “twerp”, which doesn’t make sense. Juan claims he only has one friend that’s a female, entirely missing the point and while us the most awkward use of “female” since Ice Cube in Friday.

The girlfriend mentions seeing names like “Jordan” and “Jayden” in Juan’s phone. He notes those are guys names, which is valid. But she notes those are the names of her girlfriends, which–yea dude, you really done fucked up.

She continues the verbal assault by ragging on his clothes, which again, why be a bitch about this? Don’t hate on the guy for being fiscally responsible. Thrift shops have decent options.

At this point, Britney Amber is shown sneaking around the corner, doing her best Hulk Hogan impression. Brother! The girl is now hitting Juan with some combos, noting how Britney (his stepmom) takes care of him. In fairness, it seems our man might legit have some growing up to do.

But that’s when the girl goes for a low blow, judging his value on his ability to make women happy. It’s been said that “Woman’s dearest delight is to wound Man’s self-conceit.” But shit, this is going for the kill. It’s clear she’s fishing for a response, which Juan responds by …

You guessed it, pulling out his cell phone. The universal sponsor of “I’ve said all I’m going to say” and “Fuck this shit.” The girlfriend sarcastically asks if he’s about to send dick pics to one of his female friends. I doubt he would do that in front of her.

Also, Britney is still hanging around that damn corner, cupping her ear.

The girlfriend doesn’t know what else to say, which usually means it’s time to shut the fuck. She grabs Juan by the collar, and our boy might get dropped. But cooler heads prevail, and she leaves, but not before mentioning she will see him later in the night because who the fuck knows why?

Britney finally gets around that damned corner and can’t believe Juan’s girlfriend would talk to him like that. Britney promises to give the girl a piece of her mind if they ever meet, but let’s be real. Britney would get Thanos’d by that girl. She would punch Britney calm.

Juan notes his girlfriend is always like this, and it’s clear the two are in an abusive relationship. He’s not changing for her, and his silence means he doesn’t feel she is worth the fight. Likewise, she’s not happy and thinks the best move is to be disparaging. The better move would be to find someone else.

But I digress. It’s later in the night, and Juan stumbles in with his drunk girlfriend while Britney slowly creeps down the stairs. Before the potential showdown or sex between the couple, the girl passes out on the couch. She either can’t hold her alcohol or had too much. It’s okay Juan. It happens to the best of us. Just don’t engage in sexual misconduct.

Britney pops up because it’s clear she’s a coward and doesn’t actually want to face the girl in fisticuffs. Britney feels the girl should do her part after Juan took her out and paid for dinner. This is TERRIBLE guidance from an adult woman.

That’s some Nice Guy™ bullshit. I paid for dinner, so I deserve some pussy. I don’t know why Britney would say this. But before I can question the scripting, Britney touches Juan’s dick, because that makes perfect sense.

Britney feels they can’t let a good erection go to waste. Althought she could, but you know, it’s porn. Thus we get our explanation of the scene’s title. Juan has blue balls (metaphorically, not medically), and Britney opts to help out by fucking him. Because she feels that what a good woman would do. She’s the worst.

After six minutes of sucking dick, Britney realizes that fucking in front of a drunk girl who could wake up at any minute isn’t the best idea. She instead takes the action to the kitchen where she gets her ass licked. Dude, you don’t know where that butt has been. Be better than that.

After some sex stuff, the most random thing happens. The girlfriend is awake and–is this bitch sleepwalking? Yes! She grabs some water to sober up and doesn’t notice her boyfriend raw dogging his stepmom. Which again, dude, be better than that. Use a condom.

After a monster cumshot (seriously, Juan must’ve been doing kegels and holding that one in for weeks), Britney swallows his kids and quips that his girlfriend probably doesn’t do the same.

Britney’s probably right, and the girlfriend should consider it. Turns out there are health benefits to swallowing semen. It’s a natural anti-depressant, helps you sleeper better, has multivitamins, and can lower blood pressure. We’re done here.

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