Porn Logic: Public sex is somehow never seen by the public

Yesterday marks the sixth time we have done observations for a porn scene involving public sex. It is also the sixth time public sex somehow managed to stay private.

So that you know, public sex isn’t just sexual activity outdoors. It is sexual activity that takes place in a public context. The public can reasonably view the sex without the need for stalking for being a peeping Tom. So having sex in the park is just as public as sex in an airport, and that’s as public as sex on a balcony.

Public sex is frequent in reality porn. After a certain point, sex scenes done in the bedroom get dull. On this blog alone we have seen sex at a resort, an organic juice bar, hiking trails, a bowling alley, and twice in a salon. Each time, I comment on how funny it would be if someone walked in on the action. And yet, it never happens.

It’s as if these locations are suddenly closed or lose business the instance sex is involved. Do you mean to tell me that for 30 minutes, no one in the local area was interested in grabbing a green juice? Or no one else was interested in bowling? Get the fuck outta here. The Stars and Strikes across the street from me is open from 10 AM – 12 AM and always has at least five cars in the parking lot at all hours.

Even if we are to believe no one else is interested in getting their hair or nails done while a lesbian romp is happening, it’s harder to believe no one would see this from outside the place of business. Windows do exist, and pedestrians occasionally look through them.

At least in Atlanta, most salons are located in shopping plazas. At worst, next to a restaurant. If I’m grabbing Chinese food and notice Mary Moody and Phoenix Marie eating ass next door, there is no way I’m not watching through the window. And there is no way they don’t notice me noticing them, making everyone’s day awkward and memorable.

Logic says anyone having sex in public will get caught. Certainly not all of the time, but some of the time. Right now, this blog is pitching 0-for-6, odds that don’t add up.

Porn logic says the second you begin having sex, humanity vanishes. Once genitals touch, it is like the Infinity Gauntlet being snapped. So next time you’re at the park and can’t wait to get your dick wet, bang one out near the playground. I’m sure the rest of the community will wait for you to finish.

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