Squirting stories with Megan Rain, Adriana Chechik, and hot yoga

Today we’re watching Girlsway’s “Squirting Stories: Part One” featuring Megan Rain and Adriana Chechik. Megan is an aggressive weirdo with no social awareness and a fetish for shooting bodily fluids onto people. Adriana is a budding business owner who sees the best in others and excuses deviant behavior.

Water is important. I’m a huge supporter of clear urine.

We open with—oh, I’ve already forgotten the girl’s name. Porn is littered with similarly-named white girls that are hard to tell apart. She looks like a Megan something—

Megan Rain! An awfully ironic name considering what’s about to happen.

We open with Megan Rain drinking a big glass of water because she needs to be hydrated for the activity she’s going to do. Also, it’s better to be hydrated and clear for the other activity that needs to be accomplished.

Megan Rain asks, “This is hot yoga, right? Like, where you sweat?”

Megan is making an appointment for hot yoga with Adriana Chechik—which, yes, to confirm, is the place where you sweat. Megan appears to be sweating already. Unless sweating is a part of hot yoga prep, just turn on the air conditioner.

For reasons that are not explained, Megan starts rubbing ice on her neck before sucking on said ice. I guess her environment is hot, and this is supposed to be hot, and she’s going to do hot yoga, and hot, hot, hot, etc. I’m sure this will connect to something later, though it won’t be nearly as witty or creative as the producer is thinking.

Adriana also promises to get Megan “nice and sweaty.” Either Adriana is inappropriate and horny, or it’s really fucking hot that in that yoga studio.

Megan Rain asks if she can pay extra room for a hotter room. Uh, no!

Megan, who seems to really like sweat, asks if she can pay extra money for a hotter room, which—I’m confident is a health hazard and not up for negotiation. I don’t see the yoga studio putting a client’s health at risk just because they want to get weird. Sorry, Megan.

Later in the day, Megan attends her hot yoga class with Adriana. The ladies hit a beautiful crab bridge—nice work! It’s here that we’re reminded this is porn and not a yoga instruction video. So we take a moment to notice Adriana’s inappropriate work outfit as well as her camel toe. I’m predicting that some oral sex will happen from this pose because the optics of it is too obvious.

Adriana helps Megan perfect her crab bridge, and I’m a terrible person because I legit thought Adriana was going to finger her. Porn creates this world where sex and/or non-consensual activity are always lurking around the corner. We’re always on guard, even in normal situations. It’s totally normal for a yoga instructor to help a client. And yet, I’m just waiting for Adriana to put her hand down Megan’s yoga pants.

After a full yoga routine, Adriana stretches with Megan. To show her appreciation, Megan licks Adriana’s neck. This is what I get for trusting what’s around the corner. Since this is porn, Adriana will either, a) be absolutely okay with this because she’s also weird, b) play it off and make excuses for Megan’s behavior, or c) learn to be okay with it.

Adriana asks if the thing that happened actually just happened. Yes, Adriana, she licked you. This shouldn’t be confusing. You’re really straying towards “b” territory right now. Megan’s brilliant excuse is that she’s thirsty. Bitch, that’s what water is for! I guess she saw Adriana’s salty neck sweat and thought, “mmm, just like ice.” This thirsty bitch is crazy as hell!

We continue stretching because Adriana hasn’t gotten payment from Megan yet, and she doesn’t want to fuck this up. Life as a small business owner is rough. Adriana leans forward and Megan goes for another neck shot. Adriana had to know that tongue was coming, no? I’m not one for victim-blaming. Megan is a crazy person. But Adriana can’t be shocked that opening her neck leads to necking by Megan.

Adriana asks, “what’s wrong with you? Should I call someone about this?” If Adriana is truly stupid enough to think Megan is licking her for hydration purposes, bless her heart. But Megan no sells Adriana’s question, immediately stands up, and the camera is focused dead on Megan’s crotch. Nothing good is about to happen here.

Megan pulls her pants down and drives Adriana’s mouth straight into her vagina. No warning, no hints. Megan wanted to pay extra for a hotter room, but figured she can get this for free. Life as a small business owner is rough.

This is some form of criminal sex act, but naturally, Adriana is having fun with this. Turns out, she really is just inappropriate and horny and won’t threaten to file a lawsuit. We now have permission to be okay with her being sexually harassed. Don’t worry guys: Adriana has now entered “c” territory. She’s learned to love it.

Also, Megan says pussy juice is “the best kind of juice.” I’m not so sure. Pussy juice might be in the top 15 or 20 juices, but I’m confident it isn’t even in the top five. The list looks something like this (in no particular order):

  • Apple juice – a classic juice
  • Orange juice – another classic, but take the pulp out
  • Kool-Aid – cherry or tropical punch
  • Squeezit – extremely underrated
  • Capri Sun – the potential G.O.A.T.

We have water! Adriana complies and licks Megan, only to get … squirt in her face? What is squirt, exactly? It looks like hydrated pee. Here is how “femcare” startup Daye defines squirting and female ejaculation:

when a person with a vulva emits liquid from the urethra in response to sexual stimulation or orgasm. The fluid released usually looks like water and is colourless and odourless. Squirting is different to vaginal lubrication (being “wet”), which is produced by the Bartholin glands and secreted by your vaginal walls especially during arousal.

Cool. As for whether or not squirt is just pee, Daye says, “for the time being, there is no consensus among sexual health professionals and researchers as to what squirt is or is not.” So, I still don’t know what we’re looking at. Anyway, I’m tired of using my brain. Let’s watch Megan pee on this girl’s face.

Is she “super wet?” Literally, yes. But technically, no.

OH MY GAH! Adriana comments that Megan is super wet, which is true but wrong. Yes, she is literally very wet. There is fluid everywhere. But sorry, we just learned that “wet” pussy is actually vaginal lubrication. That’s not lubricant you’re tasting. Do your research, Adriana.

Megan responds by asking if Adriana is thirsty. First, it’s a bit too late to ask. Adriana is already taking in fluid minus a straw. Second, I thought the solution to thirst was sweat, not a vaginal geyser? Make up your mind, Megan.

The water works keep going.

This squirt-a-thon goes on for a while. There isn’t much for me to add or highlight. Don’t get me wrong: this action is intense. But I question the longevity of watching two girls just squirt in and on each other. After two or three instances of squirting, we pretty much get the gist of it and lose interest—

HOLY SHIT! Never mind, you got my interest again. First off, the crab bridge … is … BACK! That visual was far too great to pass up. Secondly, for fuck’s sake, that went straight to the mouth. I actually gasped in horror and leaned backed in my chair. I’m rarely stunned by porn, but that was graphic, even for me. I don’t know what I was expecting or why I even GIFed it.

I sincerely hope Adriana invested in a good mop or steam vacuum. That’s quite the mess. Predictably, no one walked in on this, so I assume Adriana doesn’t have a lot of clients. The lengths we gotta go to generate new business, amirite?

This is as good a time as ever to bring this to a close. Go support your porn people, and buy the full scene at Girlsway. We’ll see you next time. Drive home safely.

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