Today we’re watching Gabbie Carter and LaSirena69 in “I Fucked Your Boyfriend to Make You Mad” from Reality Kings. LaSirena69 flaunts her boyfriend and sexcapades in an effort to make her roommate jealous. Unfortunately, two can play that game and LaSirena69 is left with a cheating boyfriend and a roommate who is cold as ice.
This is LaSirena69. For the sake of this writing, I’m going to call her LaSirena because adding “69” to her name makes her sound more like a Reddit avatar than a real person. She’s busy making out with her boyfriend in the living room—perfectly fine as long as she doesn’t have a roommate who sometimes walks through said living room. Not that LaSirena doesn’t have a right to that space. It’s just awkward because the space is technically shared.
And here is Gabbie Carter—the roommate who sometimes walks through the living room. She’s here to ruin LaSirena’s existence in this apartment. There is clearly a story between these two that happened off-screen. Whatever it was, Gabbie’s eyes have a deep and passionate hatred for this bitch.
Because of that apparent hatred, LaSirena’s actions are seen in a different light. She’s trying to make Gabbie jealous and assert her dominance of the apartment. She was hoping Gabbie would cross the living room and see this so LaSirena could be like, yeah bitch, I got dick and all you got is a bowl of cereal.
But joke’s on LaSirena. One, depending on the cereal, it could be better than sex. If I had to choose between pussy and a bowl of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries, the pussy can wait. I’m aware I can have a bowl of cereal any time while pussy is a limited-time offer. But I said what I said and didn’t stutter while saying it.
Two, and more importantly, Gabbie showed up prepared with booty shorts and a lot of under boob. It’s Gabbie who is here to fuck up LaSirena’s day; not the other way around. Gabbie and her bowl park on the sofa. LaSirena comes up for air and glares at Gabbie like, what’s really hood, bitch?! LaSirena demands her privacy, but Gabbie reminds her that this is Gabbie’s living room, too.
Gabbie has a point. Demanding privacy in a SHARED space sounds dumb. Rule #14 of being roommates is that we have to respect shared spaces. Make out sessions in the living room when the bedroom would more than suffice (and offer more versatility) is disrespectful if the other roommate is around.
At the same time, I get LaSirena’s perspective, as flawed as it is. Rule #18 of being roommates is that we should give our roommates space. Gabbie should just grab the bowl of cereal and go back to the bedroom. Breakfast doesn’t require a seat on the sofa.
Nonetheless, Gabbie has made her choice. We’re here now, so let’s do what we can to improve the situation. Gabbie asks who the man is. His name is Quinton, he’s LaSirena’s boyfriend, and he’s an idiot because he wants to say “hi” as if Gabbie actually gives two fucks about who he is. Quinton isn’t assessing the situation correctly. This isn’t a meet and greet. This is Mortal Kombat.
I would LOVE it if the two women fought right now. But this is porn, and Reality Kings reminds us by having Gabbie shake her chesticles and ask if Quinton likes big tits. Considering LaSirena ALSO has big tits, we can safely say Quinton likes big tits. Gabbie is now making this a battle of breast size, which is funny because it’s not like either woman would sink in a pool.
Quinton acts shocked and a bit disgusted, but also can’t stop staring at Gabbie’s tits. He’s not a good actor, and it’s clear he would like to fuck Gabbie and her similarly-sized breasts. So LaSirena pulls him out of the fire so they can have sex in the bedroom—which, she should have done from the very beginning. I’m not blaming her, but she’s definitely on some petty shit.
I guess Quinton is really putting in work because LaSirena is singing like a—well, siren. Either that, or its porn and we have to fill the scene with noise somehow. The sound signals to Gabbie that fucking is going on and she leans against the bedroom door to listen.
But she’s all hopped up on cereal sugar, so listening isn’t good enough. Gabbie opens the door to watch the action. We can now add “Peeping Jane” to her list of character attributes. In fairness, I totally get that she may have a thing for watching other people fuck. That’s why sex clubs exist. Thing is, this definitely isn’t the time or place to work out that kink.
Quinton notices Gabbie and naturally doesn’t stop what he’s doing. To be fair to him, I’m not certain a guy would stop in the middle of sex unless there was imminent danger or death. A house fire? Time to stop. Big titty girl standing at the door? That’s not an emergency unless you think big titty girl might attack the big titty girl you’re fucking.
It is a distraction though, and the situation gets more distracting when Gabbie reveals her tits. Clearly Gabbie is jealous. Congrats to LaSirena on accomplishing her mission. She made all this damn noise to get Gabbie’s attention and won. Problem is, Gabbie has Quinton’s attention, and this corn cob of a human being pulls out to chase after Gabbie.
I will go out on a limb and say Gabbie would’ve been satisfied with knowing she was on Quinton’s mind as he came. But now this elite-level bitch wants to fuck Quinton and really drive that knife into LaSirena’s heart. I would say “LaSirena’s back”, but Gabbie seems like to type to stab someone from the front and stare in their eyes as they bleed.
So now we get Sad LaSirena. Or Mad LaSirena. We can empathize with her. We all want to feel sexy, and walking out mid-sex for ANY reason is the opposite of that. It’s not like he stopped temporarily to open a window and let some air out. He pulled an “I’ll be right back.”
Quinton walks to Gabbie’s bedroom, and apparently Gabbie has been waiting in the nude and expecting him. While her gamble paid off (because trash dudes are predictably trash dudes), what if he had enough of a conscious to not show up? Or better yet, why not have a little more stealth about this? This dude really thinks he can fuck his girlfriend’s roommate RIGHT NOW and go back to his girlfriend as if she won’t be mad. Estúpido!
Gabbie says he made the right decision. As convincing as her big tits are, I wholeheartedly disagree with that assessment. Even if Gabbie doesn’t sound the alarms with her moaning, LaSirena is going to find out. This is going to ruin LaSirena’s relationship with her boyfriend (which, whatever), worsen the living relationship between LaSirena and Gabbie (which is already fragile), and create further conflict that Quinton won’t have to deal with.
He essentially lit a fire in their apartment and walked out, leaving Gabbie and LaSirena to deal with the charred mess. That’s fucked up, and he gets an overwhelming percentage of the blame for all of this foolishness. Everyone is a certain degree of villainous (one person far more than others), and LaSirena paid the price for challenging Gabbie. Real shame.
What did we learn? Roommates are tough, especially once relationships and sexy time get involved. That’s why roommates have to establish clear boundaries with each other and respect each other’s sense of space. And while roommates don’t have to like each other, they have to learn how to co-exist under the same roof. Not damn-near fucking on the couch would be a good start. And not escalating the situation would be even better.
LaSirena fucked around and found out, while Gabbie marked her territory and became the queen of the apartment. LaSirena is going to have to find a new place, a new roommate, a new start without her boyfriend, and the ability to trust people again. She should consider living alone for a while. It’ll be expensive, but I don’t see her trusting future roommates or ANY potential partners.
Don’t try to make people jealous, because they might just turn around and do something to make you mad. Not that LaSirena had a good boyfriend (he was a cheater, after all), but Gabbie put that relationship to death just to make a point. And don’t bring boyfriends around your roommates, especially if the roommate is attractive. Dudes are liable to put their penis’ in any woman who offers, even if you yourself are insanely attractive.