Sara Jay fucks a panty-sniffing thief who steals nothing

Welcome to Porn Logic! Today we’re watching “Sara Jay Fucks the Thief” from Bangbros.

Thieves having sex with the people they’re robbing always makes for fun, stupid porn. This is no exception. A thief enters a home for a robbery, but gets distracted by a pile of panties and Sara Jay being a freak. Let’s see just how insane this video gets.

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Thief tries to enter Sara Jay's home.

A thief tries to break into a home with what I now understand to be tools to pick a lock. I thought he was using tools to build a bed from IKEA. Shows how much I know. I also learned these tools can be bought online. Happy robbin’ season!

Thief enters Sara Jay's home.

The thief manages to get into the home rather easily. I might be giving this place too much credit, but it seems way too nice for anyone to break in with such little resistance. The security alarm isn’t even on! Should’ve bought a SimpliSafe® Home Security system.

The thief slowly closes the door, and it’s so noisy I actually feel bad for the guy. He got dressed for the occasion, learned how to pick a lock, and got lucky with the security system, but his undoing will be a creaking door. Doesn’t seem fair.

Thief waves hand over Sara and her boyfriend.

The thief reaches a bedroom where Sara Jay and her boyfriend are sleeping. This room is ghastly: purple and periwinkle walls, white doors with white wall trimming, and a sky blue bed. Terrible. These two don’t even have a headboard for their bed. I take back what I said. This place isn’t that nice.

To make sure they’re asleep, the thief waves his hand over their faces. I know “felt presence” is a real thing. I have woken up from the feeling that someone was near me. But would waving a hand count as a presence? This doesn’t seem like an effective way to test someone’s sleep state.

So naturally, the thief makes all the noise by sorting through the jewelry in their nightstand. But he doesn’t take anything. This guy is a terrible thief and doesn’t deserve to be rewarded for it.

Thief enters the laundry room and sniffs Sara's panties.

The thief makes his way to the laundry room, because I guess dirty clothing is a gold mine. I assume money or other valuables could be hidden in this room, but it feels as though he doesn’t have a real plan of attack. It’s unclear.

What is clear is his passion for women’s underwear. And by “passion” I mean he has a panty-sniffing habit that is interfering with his robbery habit. Or maybe it’s the other way I around. I’m confused.

Some of the panties seem too small for Sara Jay’s body. THICC doesn’t fit in those panties. Based on Maury Show logic, her man must be cheating.

Sara Jay finds her panties on the ground.

The thief hears someone approaching the room and quickly hides in a smaller room because this house has TOO MANY ROOMS! Sara picks up her panties and asks, “What the hell is this?” She’s either confused as to why her panties are on the ground, or those aren’t her panties.

Thief covers Sara's mouth and neck.

But never mind that shit. Here comes the thief! He covers Sara’s mouth and throat, which feels rather redundant. I’ve seen nothing so far to suggest this guy knows what he’s doing.

Also, I could be wrong, but I think Sara would’ve simply gone back to her room had the thief not decided to cut off her air supply in the most confusing way possible. Pants Panties on the ground doesn’t seem like something worth investigating.

Thief grabs Sara's big tits

WHOA! When did rape become a part of the gameplan?! The thief panics to make his next move, and apparently that move involves forcing himself on Sara.

Rape feels like a major and gratuitous step up from robbery. But then I remember the episode of Small Town Murder on Steven Hatch and Glen Ake from Okarche, OK. It seems a robbery turning into rape isn’t the most far-fetched thing.

But this is porn and not true crime, so for absolutely no reason, women continually accept non-consent with open arms. So here’s Sara Jay smiling at the prospect of fucking a panty-sniffing thief. Porn logic.

Sara Jay gives the thief a blowjob.

The thief tells Sara to “do what I say.” She gives him a blowjob, which isn’t something he told her to do. She’s volunteering sex acts. This girl is crazy, and the thief should just run.

As an aside, I do appreciate that Bangbros doesn’t even attempt to make sense of this. Their description of the scene reads as follows (lightly edited for clarity and correctness):

This panty thief almost gets caught after breaking into the house to smell Sara’s panties. While Sara is trying to figure out what happened to her underwear, she is grabbed from behind by the thief. She’s scared for a moment, but when the guy starts choking her, she ends up getting some pleasure out of it. She starts seducing the guy while he touches her tits, and she quickly goes down to yada, yada …

I know panty thieves are a real thing, so I won’t knock Bangbros for that.  Admittedly, I assessed the situation incorrectly. But what is stupid, according to the makers of this video, is Sara got pleasure from the thief choking her and decides to “seduce” him.

I put that in quotes because seduce is defined as enticing someone into sexual activity, or tempting someone into a course of action. So we’re to believe Sara either genuinely wants this thief to fuck her or is offering sex to prevent him from stealing. Both possibilities are moronic.

Sara Jay rides thief in bed with panties in her mouth.

Anyway, the two decide to have sex in the bed, the same bed Sara’s boyfriend is sleeping in. How deep of a sleeper is this guy? The thief was concerned about waving his hand, but is totally good with the sound of loudly moaning girlfriend and plenty of bed movement.

The thief stuffs Sara’s panties in her mouth to handle the former. I personally would’ve switched rooms, but he seems to know what he’s doing. As for the latter, the boyfriend must be half-dead or drugged. Sara Jay is not a small girl, and the panty thief is compact. That bed is rocking out of control.

This is why the bed needs a headboard. Hard to get away with this fuckery when the headboard is rhythmically crashing against the wall.

Boyfriend enters bathroom to ask Sara for a towel as thief hides.

The thief takes my advice and moves things to the bathroom, but the boyfriend wakes up for a shower. Sara convinces him to use another bathroom and the thief grabs a towel for him. There’s a panel of mirrors this entire time, and the boyfriend never uses that long neck of his to simply look forward.

I’ll give credit where credit is due. Without the mirror, the boyfriend could reasonably never notice the thief. The thief and Sara Jay are the same height. That’s not a knock on the thief, merely a visual reality. That said, mirrors do exist, so this is dumb.

Thief fucks Sara's big ass over the bathroom counter.

With the thief gone, Sara tells the thief to “finish what you started.” This girl is nasty, and I’m here for it. One quick note: has everyone forgotten the thief originally started a robbery?

He didn’t come here for this (sex, that is). He took it once he got it. Honestly, I have no idea what he actually came here for, but Bangbros insists it was for panties. If he were to finish what he started, he would grab Sara’s underwear and run. But pussy and a big ass have imprisoned him. I can empathize with that.

The ripples from him crashing against Sara’s ass are too noisy. Thankfully, the boyfriend is deaf from shower water and will never, ever return. The thief needs to consider a different career path, and I don’t know what Sara gets from this other than some dick.

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“Sara Jay Fucks the Thief” is logically insane. This only gets crazy once Sara Jay decides to fuck the thief, which is the entire basis of the video. Everything up until that point, including the thief stealing panties, is fine. The victim of a robbery WANTING to fuck her robber is not.

You can find “Sara Jay fucks a thief” on XVideos, and purchase a membership with Bangbros to download the entire scene. Have a good night, and drive home safely.

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