Aunt Cass checks your browser history and porn tags

Welcome to Porn Logic! Today we’re watching “Aunt Cass – Tags”, a continuation of the Aunt Cass Checks Your Browser History meme from Redmoa.

Actually titled “Aunt Cass – Titfuck,” Aunt Cass Checks Your Browser History refers to a POV animation where Big Hero 6‘s Aunt Cass lets the viewer experience a “specific type” of adult content from their browser history (it’s titfucking, obviously).

In “Aunt Cass – Tags,” Aunt Cass just storms through the whole damn list of adult content and porn video tags.

Aunt Cass wears a green crop top and denim booty shorts.

No ma’am. Why would Aunt Cass wear what are essentially denim panties and a crop top? Though, it is more like ultra-hiked up denim booty shorts that only a WWE Divas’ Era wrestler would wear.

The closest comparison I can think of is Capcom’s Poison, and even her shorts at least slightly resemble shorts. It has pockets and requires zipping in the front.

I tried to find a similar pair of denim booty shorts online and found this piece sold on AliExpress. That girl’s vagina is about to fall out.

Aunt Cass checks your browser history.

Aunt Cass’ teeth are a little weird. Maybe I’m weird for focusing on her teeth and not her animated tits.

Aunt Cass shows porn tube site with ad, comments, and tags.

Porn tube sites really do be looking like that. The three most realistic features are a banner ad simply displaying “DA BEST Porn Website :)”, the search bar hovering far too close to the list of tags, and a commenter ironically misspelling “ROFLAMO” and actually making me laugh.

Also, “Any tips on beating Margit?” is only cute if you play Elden Ring or still go to PornHub. I don’t, so I’m clearly not the target audience.

Porn tags on user's search history.

Even in a world where parental figures over-explain everything, I don’t think Aunt Cass needs to explain what tags are. Some quick observations:

  • Today I learned that “paizuri” is just hentai titty-fucking.
  • Searching for “erection” and “erect penis” is redundant.
  • Dude REALLY loves all things oral.
  • “1dood” and “1dood1girl” shows a lack of spelling but a lot of open-mindedness.
  • Voluptuous, thick thighs, wide hips, huge butt, and huge breasts? Let me save you some time: search for London Andrews and Mal Malloy.
Aunt Cass says you will go through each porn tag.

Bless her heart. I bet her father made her smoke an entire pack of cigarettes to discourage her from smoking cigarettes.

And how exactly does one “go through each and every one?” Are they going to watch porn together? Because that’s creepy as fuck.

Aunt Cass kisses a penis.

I stand corrected. Aunt Cass is right in her logic: kissing his penis will ensure he loses interest in porn websites and watching “penis kiss” porn. He’ll just refocus his energy on getting people to kiss his penis IRL. She’s trading in a porn addict for a sex addict.

Aunt Cass reveals her big breasts.

Even if the “ladies in those videos” include Milena Velba, Cassie0pia, and Scoreland’s entire model portfolio, Aunt Cass still has some big animated tits.

I do appreciate the subtle commentary on big breasts having a big range of sizes in porn—pun intended.

Aunt Cass shakes her butt.

Butt shaking and twerking videos are overrated. They feature more glute-flexing than thunder-clapping.

Aunt Cass suggests spanking your bottom.

AS IF HE DOESN’T ENJOY WHAT YOU’RE CURRENTLY DOING?!

I’m not sure Aunt Cass knows what she wants to accomplish, but I’m fairly sure the video creator put together a rolodex of one-liners and jabs at porn nerdom that make little sense and mean nothing when put together. Basically, reality porn.

Aunt Cass sits on your face.

I’m sure five minutes of facesitting is like sending him to paradise. Excuse my language, but the butthole animation is oddly impressive.

Aunt Cass doesn't know what MILF means.

In fairness, no one seems to truly know how to define what a MILF is. Also, is Aunt Cass putting her clothes back on before going to the next tag? Is this happening over a series of days and weeks? This really is paradise.

Aunt Cass dresses in sexy cosplay.

I’m so sorry. I don’t know what cosplay this is. I assume it either involves an Overwatch, Fortnite, hentai, anime, superhero, or any other video game character men desperately want to fuck.

Aunt Cass falls due to boots.

I seriously thought Aunt Cass tripping into a missionary position while wearing those boots would lead to sex. Also, we’re to believe Aunt Cass ordered this outfit just to make a point.

Aunt Cass says he will only do vaginal penetration once.

Porn wouldn’t be porn without someone having sex more than the amount of times they originally vow to have sex. Also, I thought “vaginal penetration” was just a default mechanism of porn until I remembered AnalVids exists.

Aunt Cass does a cowgirl position.

Okay, making Aunt Cass go through each sex position tag is actually clever. But there were NO sex position tags on the original list we saw.

Maybe what we saw earlier was a generic homepage list, while “cowgirl” and “facesitting” are on the list of tags the guy actually searched for. If so, the homepage usually features popular tags. In what universe would “twitching penis” be a popular tag?

Aunt Cass has doggystyle sex.

Aunt Cass’ tits and ass suddenly got much bigger. Creating animation where characters consistently have the same size proportions doesn’t seem easy. Avengers: Infinity War could never decide how big Thano’s head actually was.

Guy creampies Aunt Cass.

With that much cum, Aunt Cass is almost guaranteed to be pregnant. Apologies, that previous sentence was wrong and redacted. I present the following courtesy of News-Medical.Net:

Most men mistakenly believe that increased semen volume would mean increased fertility. In fact, sperm makes only 1 to 10% of the semen. The proportion of sperm rise with a longer period of abstinence from sexual intercourse or masturbation.

I was one of those men, mistakenly believing that. Also, there is no one, sure-fire way to increase sperm volume. The best suggestion is living a healthy lifestyle and not ejaculating so much.

Aunt Cass asks that you'll stop looking at dirty websites.

This is cute and all, because you know viewers just clicked on the next Aunt Cass video. But Aunt Cass did this wrong: make the guy watch porn until his eyes bleed and he feels dizzy.

Or is this implying that regularly having sex IRL will cause men to watch less porn? That sounds nice in theory, but having sex with someone and being interested in depictions of sex are not connected, and saying they are is utter bollocks.

* * *

The insanity gives me paranoia. I feel like this video offers insight into what’s either a subsect of porn viewers, or the common porn viewer. Since porn is something I don’t discuss with other people, I don’t know which one it is.

It feels like all the things a Reddit user would love: facesitting, cosplay, Rule 34, breasts bigger than a girl’s head. I scroll through Reddit and like half of those things, so maybe I’m not that far removes from the intended viewer of this video.

You can find “Aunt Cass – Tags” from Redmoa on Newgrounds. Jokes aside, it’s good animation. User lcumforu says “My proudest fap 10/10.” That’s high praise. Have a good night, and drive home safe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s