Dana DeArmond and Vina Sky in "Not Her Again" from Twistys

Dana DeArmond declares a ‘pussy showdown’ against your girlfriend

Today we’re watching “Not Her Again” from Twistys featuring Dana DeArmond and Vina Sky. Dana turns her anger toward meeting her stepson’s girlfriend into sexual aggression over a simple, yet childish, comment. Classic tale of enemies turned … fuck-emies? I dunno. Throw in lesbian and kitchen tags, and we actually have a classic porn tale of sex somehow settling disputes between two parties.

Twistys - Dana DeArmond in Not Her Again

We start with Dana DeArmond and her cleavage opening what looks to be a door within a door after Vina Sky has knocked on the exterior door encasing the interior door. That was poorly written. I feel like this is the same door used when the police or Batman approach a nightclub owned by mobsters.

Goon #1 opens the small door and asks what the lead detective wants. The detective says, “I’m here to see The Penguin,” and the mobster goes, “I don’t know any penguins.” Then the detective puts a gun in the mobster’s face because the little door is big enough to fit artillery, and the mobster eventually opens the door despite all that hassle.

It’s stupid, and this porn scene is equally as stupid for all the same reasons. If the goal is to not open the door or let the outsider in, how does giving the outsider a full view of your face help that?

Vina has seen Dana’s cartoonish reaction and is now aware that Dana feels some type of way about Vina’s presence. They can’t pretend the other person isn’t on the other side of the door, and eventually they’ll have to deal with it.

This is why Dana needs a peephole. The purpose isn’t simply about seeing who is outside, but to do so secretly. There’s nothing better than looking through a peephole, deciding you don’t want to open the door, and quietly pretending you’re not home.

For as much as rich people like to sit back and watch things transpire from a distance, this is the exact opposite of that.

When Girls Play - Vina Sky in Not Her Again

Naturally, Vina feels unwelcome. Poor girl showed up with flowers only to have a doggie door slammed on her.

We don’t yet know why Dana is behaving this way, but I like to imagine she has a stepfamily fantasy going on with her stepson, and any girl he dates is the girl stopping Dana from getting dick. It has nothing to do with Vina. It has everything to do with Vina having younger, more readily available pussy.

Dana head tilts Vina after opening the door. Does Dana already know this girl? Or did Dana pre-determine she was going to be a bitch about the entire proceedings and can’t keep her body language in check?

Dana presses the “mean introduction” option on The Sims 4 and aggressively asks Vina, “Can I help you with something?”

I don’t know if Dana and Vina have been battling across different universes and timelines like Everything Everywhere All at Once. I do know it’s going to be hard for Dana to fight in that skin tight dress that doesn’t seem appropriate for the occassion. Thank porn for having Dana DeArmond and her big butt wear that.

The stepson hugs Vina and Dana realizes she is in the presence of the girlfriend. I can understand Dana being a little surprised if she doesn’t know what the girlfriend looks like. But the level of hostility suggests there is something else going on.

If Dana didn’t know who Vina was, Dana would’ve settled all inquiries through the doggie door. Simple questions, like, “Are you looking for someone?”, or “May I help you?” with an open and raising intonation at the end. Instead, Dana opened the door as if she didn’t want any obstacles toward kicking Vina’s ass.

MILF hates her stepson's girlfriend

Vina gives Dana a bouquet of flowers, which is actually very sweet. I wouldn’t do such a thing. Kudos to her for being thoughtful and trying to set a good first impression. Unfortunately, Dana couldn’t give two fucks about the Publix flowers, and first impressions are for losers.

And no offense meant towards Publix, by the way. I actually like shopping there. It’s just—grocery store flowers are what you buy if you have fucked things up with someone and need an emergency ornament to fix the situation. They’re last-second flowers for boyfriends who procrastinated too long on getting something for Valentine’s Day.

Also, the internet says Trader Joe’s has the best grocery store flowers. Sorry, Publix.

Vina Sky lesbian video

The boyfriend vanishes to GameStop or something. This scene won’t become a threesome, so his presence isn’t needed nor does his disappearance need to be explained.

Perfect time for Dana to confront Vina and finally exposition her way into explaining their past. Dana knows this bitch and wants her to leave. Vina nearly ran Dana off the sidewalk (I assume with a car), and apparently told Dana that was she was “too old to shop at Forever 18.”

Hol’ up. Is Dana saying Vina nearly committed vehicular manslaughter? And I’m going with manslaughter because I’m assuming Vina wasn’t murderous with intent. She’s probably just a terrible driver. And no, that’s not a dig at Asian women. That’s a dig at short people. Girl can barely see over the steering wheel.

Why is there a stereotype about Asian women being bad drivers? I assume confirmation bias, but I went to Quora for answers. Here’s how Michael Haruto Oshima explains it, based on how someone explained it to him (edited for clarity):

Many Chinese women (who are driving) are not native citizens but rather immigrants who came to the US after missing out on growing up around our roads and general “car culture.” Many had never driven before in China because of the prevalence of alternative forms of transportation and lower instances of car ownership, and therefore learned to drive here and are 10+ years behind the average American driver in experience. In addition, with no historical car culture, Chinese people (or anyone from a developing country) do not get the benefit of being taught to drive by a parent who has decades of experience driving.

It’s possible none of that true. I’ve never spoken with Chinese people about this. If anything, this sounds like a reasonable and interesting theory. There’s also this answer from Vi Tran, a self-described “Bad Asian woman driver”:

My theory is since we possess all the other positive qualities of not aging, being good at math, ability to play the piano and violin, innate ability to do karate, being skinny without trying, stealing all the white guys, all of us physically resembling Lucy Liu, always being in possession of sweet and sour sauce, we have to have at least one negative trait to keep the evolutionary scale in balance. 🙂

Ugh, sweet and sour sauce is so overrated. Sweet chili is better. As for Forever 18, I think Dana meant to say “Forever 21.” Forever 18 sounds like a Forever 21 knock-off brand the same way I see people walking around with Cucci shirts.

Besides that, I would think the entire point of Forever 21’s branding is that no matter how old people are, they can feel and look young all the time. Plus, when Dana DeArmond’s looking the way she’s looking, she can shop at and dress in whatever the fuck she wants.

Stepmom Dana DeArmond and Vina Sky

So, how does Vina respond to these charges? She doesn’t respond to the vehicular manslaughter. That’s a smart move. This can quickly turn into attempted vehicular homicide, and that’s a crime. Don’t end up in porn jail; the showers are quite dangerous. As for saying Dana is too old to shop at Forever 18 21, Vina says—and I quote—”Cause you are.” Savage.

Vina is in fact a 1990s American sitcom level of bitch, and Dana was right for hating her. The two go toe-to-toe as if they are going to cut professional wrestling promos on each other. No lie, if Dana chokeslammed Vina right now, I would give the scene 1000 points.

Dana doesn’t see what her stepson sees in Vina. The clear answer to what he sees is vagina. Having a girlfriend equals vagina. She may be an absolute bitch bordering on a brat, but vagina trumps all. And according to Vi Tran, the fact it’s Asian vagina means Dana’s white stepson was always on the hook. I kid, possibly.

In what may be the weirdest way to express that Dana’s stepson physically likes Vina, Vina responds to Dana by saying, “That’s cause you’ve never seen my pussy before.”

Real question: what would be a reasonable response to this? Is Vina going to show Dana her pussy? Is Dana going to judge how great Vina’s pussy is with a tongue and finger before certifying Vina to date her stepson? Certainly not in this known universe. But in porn, anything is possible.

And I don’t doubt Vina Sky’s pussy is the bomb dot com. We’ve already seen men get violent with each other just for the chance to eat Hitomi Tanaka’s pussy. But why feel the need to put that out there? Young people are off the chain.

Vina Sky and Dana DeArmond lesbian

Dana claims she has “platinum pussy” while doubting Vina’s claim to “good pussy.” I wasn’t aware women rank their vaginas like RIAA award certifications for music. Again, I have no doubts that Dana DeArmond has good pussy. But now I’m wondering how we define “good pussy.”

I read an article from Medium, and it stated good pussy is based on physical attraction, the perceived value of the woman, the perceived challenge of getting said pussy, and the connection with the woman. That is some hyper-league bullshit. I immediately assumed the article was written by a woman or a dude pushing his women-friendly brand. It was the latter.

So I read an article on MEL Magazine, and thankfully writer Madeleine Holden showed up with some real research and answers. After speaking with “30 men and two queer women,” Holden found some common responses to what constitutes “good pussy”: tightness, wetness, grooming, taste and smell, and how enjoyable the sex is.

Now, confidence and a woman’s overall energy are important. Medium wasn’t wrong for stating that. But let’s not pretend those are the only factors when someone mentions “good pussy.” The actual organ being unfairly and weirdly judged is a factor in itself.

Also, does Dana know that platinum isn’t the best of the best? Dana possibly gave an honest assessment of her pussy, but the rankings are as follows: gold, platinum, multi-platinum, and diamond.

Interestingly, I didn’t know Garth Brooks has nine Diamond-certified albums and was the best-selling solo artist of the 20th century in America according to the RIAA. I also couldn’t name a single song from him, although I’m sure I’ve heard his work in passing. Garth Brooks is the Hitomi Tanaka of music.

Lesbians Dana DeArmond and Vina Sky fuck in the kitchen

Within four seconds, Dana’s rants about her pussy quality gets her so riled up that she declares a “pussy showdown”—something I’m certain Vina didn’t want or request, but is an incredible phrase.

To be clear, a showdown (n.) is defined as “a final test or confrontation intended to settle a dispute.” So what was originally a dispute over Vina being a bitch toward Dana became a dispute over who has better pussy because I assume Dana is going through some shit in her life.

This would actually support my theory that Dana does have a sexual relationship with her stepson, and Vina disrupts that. So now Dana has something to prove. Having the stepson judge which woman has the better pussy would be illogically more logical. But aggressively forcing Vina to taste test Dana’s pussy is insane! A crime for a crime, I guess.

Naturally, Vina is thrown off by this. But porn naturally, when Dana asks if Vina likes it, Vina gargles “yes.” If she hadn’t confirmed that, we’d have to come to terms with Dana sexually assaulting her.

Dana DeArmond and Vina Sky eating each others' pussy

After some facesitting, face-humping, and even a squirt or two, we do get some judgment on Vina Sky’s pussy. Dana says it is a “very cute little pussy.”  It’s also noted that Vina’s pussy is wet and tight. Throw in the fact that Dana never slows down on eating Vina out, and we can assume her pussy also has a good taste and smell, a sentence I feel incredibly gross for typing.

Out of 10, that has to be an 8.5 on the good pussy rating scale, no? At least now Dana sees up-close what her stepson sees in Vina, because there are apparently no other qualities worth dating Vina for. I don’t know if a winner was decided in this pussy showdown, but it’s one hell of a reason for two people to have sex. An errant comment leads to an enraged stepmom with something to prove, which leads to lesbian sex between enemies on a kitchen island. That’s porn logic!

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